Lilith
Before Eve there was another
Primal woman was she
Not temptress nor demon but
sister, lover, and mother
I’ve heard it all. I’ve listened to fables through the ages. Each era has expounded on the stories about me. All I can say is that they’re all lies. Not one is true. They are all based on the word of Cain, and he hated me. He was always a little liar, and when I exposed him as the killer of his own brother, he pointed his blood-stained hands at me and dammed me, saying that I was a demon seductress who tempted his father. By that time, I wanted nothing to do with Adam. But it has been his words that have echoed out into the world obscuring the truth. Life is not always fair, and the righteous don’t always win.
Much time has passed, and my name has waned into a backstory in the ripples of time, only brought up when men want a receptacle for their loathing, condemnation, or lust. So, I’ve been hiding, waiting for a time of understanding and compassion to reveal my story. I see human ways are shifting. But now, humanity is putting me on a pedestal as a goddess. There still is no truth in it. Deities, come and go like sea waves sliding back and forth upon the shore. Only truth abides and heals. It is because I need to be understood that I venture to speak openly to the children of my sister, Eve. To claim the present and to forge a truthful future, I must rectify the past.
Oh, so much that has been forgotten…
Let me begin with the loss of the Garden of Eden, through my eyes. The Garden, so soft, lush, and abundant, was the home of my youth. There were, not just two human children playing in this garden… but four; we were two sets of twins. Eve was my sister and Adam and Danu were siblings. As far as I know, we were created by the Tree of Life. There was no other tree like it. It was a genesis tree. When a fruit dropped on the ground and combined with water and earth, it’s seeds would sprout a creature. We saw many a creature sprout from its seeded fruit and take wing or scurry away. All I can assume is that we children were created from the same fruit that must have had two seeds. Each seed created twins.
We had a carefree childhood. We three girls were close in the beginning- talking and frolicking in the garden. Adam would throw rocks at us and tease us. But as we grew, I tired of Danu and Eve’s perpetual chatter and dull concerns - Danu always doting over food and Eve always eating it. Adam would run far and explore. I was his equal in agility and wit, so I began to follow him on his adventures. We became best friend in the Garden, and as we reached maturity, we toyed with love… to my sister’s dismay.
What a different story it would have been if the quality of greed and jealousy did not exist within our hearts. Oh Eve, her jealousy was so petty, but that was only one part of the problem. It was when Adam discovered the dead bird, that changed our fates forever. Adam held the limp feathered body in his hand and asked if we would also die. I remember his dark eyes fill with horror when he realized that this was our fate, his fate. From then on, death consumed his mind.
A large snake-like basilisk guarded the Tree of Life, protecting its fruit. It was neither a dumb nor a conniving beast. With its silver scales and blue wings, it was regal, beautiful, and wise. But it was not wise enough, for it offered us a taste of the Tree’s fruit that endowed us with wisdom. The basilisk was the only animal that ate fruit from the Tree of Life, and it tempted no one else to do so, but it must have been lonely for it allowed us a few pieces - maybe just to have someone to talk to. It doesn’t matter because the consciousness the fruit opened in us led to thoughts that the basilisk didn’t bargain for. Adam with his obsession with dying, got Eve to ask the basilisk if there was anything in the Garden that could escape death. The basilisk thought nothing of telling innocent, sweet Eve that the Tree was immortal and that it, itself, was immortal because it was always coiled in its branches. When Eve told Adam, he wanted nothing more than a branch from the Tree to hold for his own immortality. What a greedy toad! I’ll never forgive him.
On that day when we lost everything, Danu and I had gone off together. We were…well, I could say gathering berries but really, we were discovering some of our bodily pleasures. We were young then. Danu was more sensitive than Adam and it was easier to try out awkward lovemaking with her. When we got back from our frolicking, I saw the unbelievable; Adam was holding Eve in his arms, the Tree was broken with fruit scattered, and the basilisk lay dead on the ground. That image is still burned into my mind.
Adam blamed Eve. Eve said nothing to defend herself. She just clung to Adam, silent. I could see that she now had a powerful secret with him, and she knew it would sear him to her forever. I hear she’s been taking the blame ever since. Well, she got what she wanted when they ran off together, taking a small piece of the tree with them. It made them live a long time - but not forever. We call their children, the Evelans, the children of Eve.
Danu and I remained by the Tree, trying to save it as it became black and brittle. As we knelt at its base crying, its bark cracked, then split open and from the center of the trunk emerged another man- tall, green, with pointed basilisk ears. It was Danu who stepped forward to claim him, naming him Greenman. I was in shock; not only was there suddenly another man, but now my only companion was joining with this stranger. It was the deepest betrayal - my whole family, Adam, Eve, and then Danu had turned from me. I’ve felt alone ever since.
Danu didn’t leave me totally; she just became busy with the Greenman creating a large family. They became the first race of the Faey, the pointy-eared children of Danu and the Greenman, the Tuatha Dedanann.
As I was mostly alone, I looked for some way to save a scrap of my life. I peeled the fibrous inner bark from the Tree and tried to create something with it. I wove it into a cloak, only thinking of keeping something around me that I loved. But as I placed it over my shoulders, it came alive and gripped me. I panicked as it whipped around, covering me from head to toe and pulled me down into the Earth. I was suffocating and I thought I was going to die, but I learned to move with it, and find comfort in being compressed into earth. Now, it is my power. I travel underground, arising and disappearing at will.
The cloak, I call Matashya, is my companion - and my master. I don’t like to admit this to myself, but it does ‘bid’ me to do things. I am not a free woman, I am bound, bound by genesis - the only goal of the Tree of Life. Where I would have revenge or neglect the life of another, the cloak will not allow it. I must always work for life, even when my heart is cold. The cloak has other strange abilities. When I open it in front of someone, it’s mysterious dark fibers can absorb their feelings and memories. This magic has come in handy many a time when I have meddled in human history, for my presence has not been remembered. The cloak can also turn me to stone. This is how I hear the talk of humanity. Most importantly the cloak can transform life. When I wrap an animal or plant within its dark folds, with a little time, a miniature child with the qualities of the creature will emerge. These are my children, born from the cloak. They are the second race of the Faey, the small nature faeries - the Fair-shee.
Because I am wrapped in the life-giving force of the Tree, I am the only immortal out of my family. Adam, Eve, and Danu lived very long lives because of the wood that they wore as pendants. Eventually it crumbled and they passed leaving behind a legacy of children.
The Greenman is different. He is the soul of the Tree of Life embodied in a human form. He dies, usually sacrificing himself to protect the Faey or the Earth, but then he is reborn generation after generation. It has been my duty to find him as a young man among the Evelans and remind him of who he is.
We used to mingle more with the Evelans until the wild places where we lived began to be destroyed for farmland. We fought with the Evelans and laid curses upon them, but we were not warriors, and we lost many a life and lands. So, we chose to retreat instead of fighting. For most of history, I and the Faey have been in hiding.
We evade any contact with any Evelan, except for the children known as changelings. These are children that I come to and offer a chance to learn our ways. I only seek out the neglected or lonely, and only if they call to me with a heart full of love for nature. The Evelans say I eat them or suck their blood, but that is just more slander. They are my adopted children. What do I do with them? Well, I’ll just say not all of the faeries were born as faeries.
The changelings, the fair-shee, the Tuatha Dedanann, are the family I watch over. We are the Faey. We are not just fables of old, we still live, hidden in the deepest forest, but at times we are called out by a twist of destiny or a kink in fate. And so, I am here now, rousted from my hidden silence to tell my story. It is only for those of you that can hear the unpleasant truth. I am no goddess, nor demon but just a woman with a complicated past.
